Poem This Time

I'm at work and they have run out of things for me to do so I'm sitting in my mom's office watching Sleepy Hollow (the one with Johnny Depp as Ichabod). Sleep Hollow is my favorite movie, love squeamish pathologists (^^), and my neighbors sleepy hollow sleeve. But anyway enough rambling ... poems ... I promised a poem.

running through the woods
laughing with childish glee
smiles fade as they spy her
standing broken in the leaves
staring with a waning smile
beckoning them closer
mesmerized they follow her
her hair blows in ethereal wind
leading them carefully hand in hand
giggling with pleasure as they follow
they enter the long forgotten lake
walking slowly to their fate
heads finally sinking
she smiles watching
knowing that she shant be the only one
with a dark and watery grave

there you are ... kinda crappy but a poem none the less

love and kisses

Playing Ketchup

So here's the scoop on the whole kidney thingey-mahoozle: *deep breath*

Last October I started having headaches. When to the eye doctor to see if it was a condition I had had previously; it wasnt. By March-ish, they still weren't going away so I went to the doctor who thought it might be the old condition and put me on meds for it. When he did a check up and did some blood work. My creatanine (sp?) was 2.8 [**normal is 1.5-1.8**]. The doctor thought it might be a reaction to the meds, but the creatanine still didn't go down. After a month of seeing neurologists and such I was refferred to a Nephrologist, fancy speak for a kidney doctor. After doing a kidney biopsy and more tests than I can hope to count he diagnosed me with FSGS [Focal Segmental Glomerulal Sclerosis], a form of kidney disease which has no known cause or cure. Therefore, in the next couple of years I have to get a transplant, which bites because in the next couple of years I'm going to college. Not how I planned to spend college but hey, a new experience that's for sure.

Well ... I think I've purged enought info for now.

Love and Kisses

So Pretty Much ...

Decided to make a journal about my fun experiences with kidney disesase an extension of my poetry attempt, which was well intentioned, but didn't work.

salem's sweethearts

being told that you’ve done something wrong

and not being able to defend yourself

they sit there accusing you

acting as if they’re being hurt

your eyes dart through the courtroom

you must be terrified of your fate

when they condemn you to burn at the stake

your mind goes blank and then fills

with the horror of your impending death

you scream as they drag you away from the stand

you kick and try to break free from their hold

but they’re grip is too tight

in your cell you rattle the bars

until your hands feel raw and you fall to the fall

in a restless sleep that will be your last 

you dream of the life that was once yours 

when you wake you’re told to wash quickly and dress

you’ve resigned to your fate, so you blankly comply

they tie the knots as the crowd starts to form

around you as you climb the infamous gallows hill

as you stands on the box they slip the noose

over your neck and pull the knot tight

the crowd starts to yell and jeer

as the man kicks the box from beneath you

you take your last breath

and die knowing

that you did nothing wrong

I've always been indecisive

the world is laid before me
all I have to do is choose
what to do and where to go
but my mind keeps jumping around
I'm not sure what I want
eyes darting from possibility to possibility
a frenzied affair of confusion

I know it's cliche' but whateverrrrr

I watched her slip away
from a brilliant girl
to a mindless wraith
eaten away by society

they said she was too smart
"you'll never get a guy"
so she dumbed it down

they said she dressed to conservative
"you look like such a prude"
so she showed more skin

they said it was cool
"everyone smokes"
so she lit up

they said it was fun
"the buzz is amazing"
so she gulped it down

they said it would only hurt for a second
"just a little prick and you'll be in wonderland"
so she shot up

from a straight A-student
to straight up stupid
in just a few short months

look what you've done

kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
on a bed of daisies and white roses
where they will never find me
surround me in a tomb of glass
so all can see my pain
the broken heart that bleeds forever
staining even the purest white rose